The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
-Einstein
Here I post the work of one of my closest friend Mopper(Friend is small word to describe what he means to me but then I m poor in vocabulary). I don't intent to be negative in my first blog but believe me it a master piece from Mopper.
Over to Mopper
Walking Out!!!
How to fall out of a relationship which you think has gone too far from both ends and has got more rewards than needed or it deserved?
1) The thumb rule is – Never let the other person know you want to fall out of it before you are ready to do.
2) Start tampering your way of communication
Cell Phone Tactics
a. Never switch off your cellphone!!!
b. Stop calling you dear person on your own. But do not stop attending their calls.
c. Stop adding emotions to your speech. But never stop talking. Talk about any crap from house to films but never about you. Stop discussing any emotional moments or problems you went through the day.
d. Stop picking up the phone immediately. Wait let it ring for 4 times, then pick up the call always.
e. Stop attending the phone the first time the person calls you. Let the person try for 2 or 3 times, then after 5 or 10 mins based on your leisure time you voluntarily call up. Now do you understand the difference between point (2.a) and this point?
f. Once you call the person after 2.d, let the person know why you did not pick it up. Not the truth, but finish the topic such that there should not be any doubts arising or uneasy questions asked.
For eg. I was sleeping, travelling, having my dinner, lunch, meeting, conf call or was in the toilet (my fav). If you do not like to lie, then you will know when your Dear (not now) person always calls you, then go and sit inside the bathroom. This should help your consciousness!
g. During the night calls, mention twice or thrice about being tired or being half asleep. Your Dear person will always be more concerned about your sleep than their personal sweet nothing talks.
h. Always talk as if everything is going fine in your life. The only complaints should be about the government, politics, frequent power cuts, mosquitoes, your childhood silly mistakes (let them be as silly as possible), etc. The rule here is – Discuss about these issues as if it is making your life hell!!!!
Communicator Tactics
a. Never be offline during your normal login periods and never block the person!!!
b. Please initiate a chat session by ping a GM, Wat doing?, Bye, Am leaving message at appropriate times. But do not chat more than that. Keep chatting to a minimal; do not let your emotions take the form of the words you type. Few of you might be, more comfortable while chatting than on the phone, so the same rules apply here as well which applies for cell phone.
c. Go away once your chat is 2 mins old, ping after 10 mins. Just try to break the flow of the chatting session as far as possible. This way both will have a break of emotions being exchanged.
d. Chat about work. Or Chat about house hold stuffs or about a film you are planning to watch, sports, etc.
Direct Meeting Tactics
a. Never refuse to meet your Dear person!!!
b. Never be at the intended meeting place on time. Be late - half an hour or 15 minutes will also do.
c. Never stay till the intended time - leave early.
d. Always try to look bored or tired. Start complaining about the weather. Forget about how pleasant it is to you. Remember all types of weather can be complained. For eg – If sun is out, say you feel hot, if it’s cold, say you are shivering, if it is the evenings – complain about how soon it darkens!!!
e. When your Dear person utters any emotional line. – (Miss u, love u, like u, you seem troubled, etc). Look into the eyes, do not say anything. Then very casually turn your head around and talk about other important things like – hey look that red shirt guy 100m away and say his shoes doesn’t match his shirt, funny right?
f. And for those”intimate” people, try to touch the other person before you are contacted physically. Like a casual pat on the shoulder, petting their head, etc. Nothing more than that!!! When done once or twice at the beginning of your meeting session, the urge for the other person to touch you could either increase a lot or could be totally subdued. If it increases a lot, then you can always give that usual – “what the hell!!!” look at the aggression or the intent shown or could show your uncomfortable level and stop it there. Do not comment or talk about it in future as well. Let your eyes and your body language do the talking.
g. Try to visit your Dear person with a group of friends or to be more effective be accompanied by just one of your opposite sex.
Work Place Tactics (More like in the same floor)
a. Never start avoiding that person whenever you are visited!!!
b. Be in the meeting room and conference room often with someone else or some other group.
c. Try to call up your other colleagues for work related issues whenever possible whenever your Dear person is present in your work area.
d. Go to coffee breaks with a group of other Office friends.
e. Try to avoid travelling to/from office with your Dear person. Try to go early to office and stay late as well due to Office Reasons of course!!! If it is unavoidable then make sure you travel while going to office with your dear person than returning from it.
f. If your Dear person is a part of your team, then start with ‘Not Discussing’ your work for the day. Keep your work to yourself as assigned by your manager or lead.
g. If your Dear person is allocating work to you, try to be as professional as possible. Stop conversing in your local / informal language. Have a formal communication with your Dear Lead or Manager. Talk less – work more should be your Motto!!!
3) Start using the word – YOU and I often. Keep the usage of words – US, WE, OURS to the minimal.
4) Keep the phone engaged whenever possible – i.e talk with others on a regular basis during the normal times you expect your Dear to call you up.
5) Use the words – THANKS and SORRY a lot.
6) Start calling your relationship as Friendship often even during casual conversations.
7) Start admiring a stranger, an author, musician, poet, etc- a totally disconnected character to your life and speak about that person for hours together. Talk about their achievement. Make your Dear feel humble by your words. If the person you are admiring to is in a similar professional field then it will be more effective.
8) If the person suddenly realizes that you are moving away, then take immediate actions like having those night calls voluntarily or inviting for a meeting or for a break for some time period (say a week). In short, the above Donts can be relaxed for a while. Just to ensure that this is just your Dear’s illusions!
When the above things are done for a fairly long time say – 3 to 4 months, the dependency of your Dear on you will reduce a lot. Now you can start talking about being on your own – separation, etc. Once your Dear feels that they can stand alone, the actual process of final good bye could begin.
If still wondering how to tell them, suddenly make a big fuss about a small little event, habit, or person, behavior, distance, etc…. Make a big drama, get frustrated and be angry and sad. This should initiate the steps towards separation. And now since the stage is already setup well by you, you can easily walk out and ensure that your once Dear will not come back to you so easily. Yes, your Dear will miss you for some time but do not budge to such stupid emotions, be the bad / tough soul and go on. It is for the ULTIMATE GOOD!!! Wish your Dear person that they will get someone better than you.
The End!
The above steps are for those people who do not have the courage to walk out of a relationship in open light. They seek a back door exit with their faces covered. The reason they give for their act – “I don’t want to hurt my Dear person, I want to reduce the pain involved”. This is a big lie. The main reason is that they themselves are so used to and dependant on their Dear and they just cannot walk out of a relationship so easily and immediately. So they end up manipulating their Dears. For those who do not know the difference between manipulation and realization.
Realization - If a person X talks about a certain thing and you start connecting things of the past and suddenly realize something inside you about yourself in present state, it is realization. It is more of a heart’s job.
Manipulation - If a person X talks about a certain thing and you recollect things of the past and start imagining about your future and predict your future and wish for something to happen, it is manipulation. It is more of a brain’s job.
The simplest and correct step to walk out of a person is – Be bold enough and let them know you are willing to walk out. Give the other person a chance to make you realize whether your decision is correct or not. Be prepared to miss that person and be prepared to know that the other person is going to miss you. This will have a permanent and true solution. If this doesn’t happen, then the mandate is that you are not supposed to walk out of that relation but is supposed to enhance it.
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